Now sit back and relax; put your feet up if you like, as Perfect Traveller and I take you back in time to discover the true story of Perseus.
Way back when men were men, transforming themselves into superheroes and women, interestingly enough were both divine, ethereal and just a little boring for my taste, or downright evil with some nasty tricks up their sleeves! Mythological worlds of adventure, danger and MEN IN TIGHTS! Well togas at least and little behinds and groaning biceps and family tree lines that to unravel and follow requires the intellect of a professor of mathematics. Perseus is one such figure with a pedigree that begins with his father Zeus, who obviously enjoyed a weekend away from the office when he mated with Danae, daughter of Acrisius (King of Argos as you well know). The plot thickens of course when Acrisius discovers that his grandson Perseus planned to kill him, don’t ask why, so he had the grandson and the mother, his own daughter shoved into a chest and cast into the sea! Zeus of course had little interest in this rather disturbing sequence of events, busy as he was perfecting the art of turning himself into a swan to participate in the growing fad of his day, bestiality. Sounds like a plot for the sit-com 2 and ½ men, only more believable!
The chest drifted to the island of Seriphus, where the two were rescued and where Perseus grew into a man, perhaps a demi-god, but certainly confused! The king of Seriphus, a fellow by the name of Polydectes fell in love with Perseus’ mum and you guessed it, decided Perseus would be against such nuptial bliss and had him removed from the scene. “Go young man and bring me back the head of the Medusa.” re: downright evil woman from mythology, with very nasty tricks up her sleeve in a constant state of a bad hair day. Not only that, but if you for a moment let your gaze fall upon the face of Medusa, you were turned to stone instantly. Yikes, how devilish of Seriphus, sending our young hero out to certain death. “Where is Zeus” screamed those in the cheap seats, but Dad was nowhere to be seen, having accidentally turned himself into a jock-strap and was last seen making a touchdown, in part, during the last Super bowl! Our boy was alone, well perhaps he should have been alone except for the fact that Hermes, a real God no less who protected and took care of all the travellers, miscreants, harlots, old crones and thieves that prayed to him or crossed his path, decided to keep Perseus company on the journey.
Our heroes set out; men on a mission and looking very much like an ad for a certain Calvin Klein men’s product, and to certain death? Perfect Traveller’s next installment of this ‘ripping yarn’ will reveal all.